Secrets From A Fat.. SO?!

If You Don’t Stand For Something….

I used to think, that unless I cocked my head ever so slightly in a photo, no matter how I smiled, that photo would come out ugly. I couldn’t seem to stand straight without feeling like a solider and I couldn’t make myself do a cheesy pose like put my hands on my hips without feeling ridiculous. So I stood there, cocked my head and smiled. Because it made me feel pretty.

I know some girls like to do crazy things to make themself feel sexy in a photo, like the duck face. If your unfamiliar with the duck face, it’s when a woman pucker’s her lips in order to give the appearance of bigger lips. Coming from a woman with some of the smallest lips on the planet, the duck face is not sexy. I find the look incredibly stupid and I think women look like idiots when they attempt to pull it off. But that’s just my opinion. I’m all for whatever makes a woman feel better about her image, even if it does look stupid.

But the point is, whither your cocking your head, puckering your lips, tilting the camera to the side for a up close face shot, or holding the camera slightly above your head, these camera tricks don’t really flatter the illusion we try so hard to maintain. Sure, sometimes they can look cute. But at times it’s also like you invent a person who doesn’t really exist.

I’ve surfed through enough people’s photos online, ones where they’re clearly being goofy and still thought, yeah okay that photo still looks like them. But I have also looked at photos where people are obviously trying so hard to take a perfect photograph of themself that they’ve done anything but. And I’ve cruelly laughed at those people. Mostly because I didn’t care much for them to begin with but also because it felt sinfully good to let the not often maliciousness out of my system by mocking their stupidity. I call it detoxing.

I’m starting to let myself grow out of that photo taking phase. Instead, I will usually ask Chris if he will take my photo. I like somebody else taking my photo because it let’s me see the perspective through somebody else’s eyes. No, I don’t like seeing my flaws all out there and exposed. For example, I hate my pale white flabby arms and double chin in that picture. But it let’s me know, “Hey, this is me. This isn’t somebody else I’m trying to pretend to be.”

To quote one of my favourite musicals Rent, “Take me baby, or leave me.” But I’m not asking anyone else to like what they see or to love me, I’m only asking for me to be able to do that. I’m asking myself to take what I see, or leave it. I choose to take it. And I don’t see how I, or anyone, can truly love themself if they don’t love the ugly in themself as well as the beautiful.

So girls, stop making the duck face! Stop making almost every photo of yourself just of your face and tits. Start loving yourself  and beliving that all your flaws, even the ones where one eye is half open and drool is piddling out of the corner of your mouth. Stop trying to make your virtual photo life better than your real one.


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2 thoughts on “If You Don’t Stand For Something….

  1. Lolly on said:

    This was an amazing post, girl. And I am so proud of you! You’re absolutely right in everything you say. I wish more people loved themselves enough to just be happy no matter their size, skin color, etc. But I’m guilty of it all, too! Being happy with yourself is one of the hardest things.

  2. This piece really shows your inner woman growing up and learning to love herself like those around love you. Everyday we see arms wagging as if saying “BINGO” and doubles chins bellowing from the neck as someone talks excitedly but we don’t only remember them for those things. It is learning to see and actively listen to others that we see the beauty in them. I love your site, Sarah. You are such an insightful young woman!

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